I am in the 15 percent of new moms with postpartum depression. And one of the ones who developed postpartum psychosis.

I am lucky enough to trust my body that when I hit my darkest path I knew I needed help. I told Jeff to bring me to the hospital and that was almost four months ago. Since then, I’ve had two more hospitalizations, several meds changed, therapy weekly – sometimes more than once a week.

I’ve had to ask for help from the people around me so much more than I ever would have. I’ve had to create a bigger support system. I needed to learn who I was all over again, who I am outside of just “mom.”

Post-partum psychosis is one of the scariest things I’ve ever dealt with, starting with birth trauma, adding depression, isolation, hallucinations, delusions, paranoia and PTSD from my hallucinations, delusions, birth trauma, anxiety and so much more.

To my family, at first, I seemed normal – a new mom. But inside it took me a bit to realize something was wrong, really, really wrong. Moms don’t feel this way about their kids, moms don’t see these things I see, moms shouldn’t be crying all day, every day. I’m so grateful for all my support, my family, friends and professional.

I couldn’t have done this alone.

I am a mom, a wife, a friend. I am Miranda. I will learn and grow and make it. I will survive. I believe in myself.

If you notice that you’re not feeling right, reach out for help. If you are a friend, husband, family member and notice a new mom isn’t acting right, reach out for them. They may not even notice until someone breaks down the wall.

We need to lift each other higher. We are more than just a stigma. This is the face of a survivor.

– Miranda, Saratoga County EOC – WIC Participant

 

Resources

Please note, psychosis is an emergency that warrants a 911 call or an ER visit. For more information about postpartum support, here are a few resources:

Shades Of Light, a Capital Region resource offering postpartum support for new mothers.

Postpartum Resource Center of New York, which provides free non-judgmental and confidential emotional support.

Postpartum Support International, offers direct peer support to families.